I've been told that I'm "picky" when it comes to dating. I cannot imagine what would make anyone relate that word to my taste in men. Sure, I have a small list of tiny qualifications...guidelines if you will, but who doesn't? These guidelines give a little direction to the sort of male I'm in the market for...or maybe it's that I'm ON the market for. Anyway. Usually they include such preferences such as
1. must be medicated
2. must not be a more efficient shopper than i
3. no unsightly piercings
4. preferable if he ignores me most of the time
5. is able to use the word "perfunctory" in a sentence, but never the word "shindig"
6. i would never knowingly date a cat person
7. your taste in shoes speak louder than anything you could possibly say in defense of yourself.
8. must never wear or own anything camouflage
9. if you are at all interested in me without having to be convinced...there is obviously something wrong with you. Move on to chasing the next car.
10. None of the above rules matter if you wear glasses. I die. and then come back to life. for. glasses. it's always been a terrible weakness.
I may have been once quoted as saying "my man doesn't need a passion for something in his life...his passion should be me," but please don't let that deter you bachelors out there, I promise I am a semi-forgiving, barely-judgemental, kind individual ...to your face.
As it stands however, my precautions may lead me to a life spent alone...
