Forgiveness is a weird thing. As a Christian, you're supposed to be able to forgive thy neighbor. Well since none of my actual neighbors have done anything needing forgiving, I guess my Christianity will just need to be extended to include other hoods. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time acquiring warm and fuzzies for people who did me wrong. My trust is a rarity, and when you have it, you should probably put it in a safe with 2 locks and build a moat around it. Yes, grab your pick ax and get to digging because you have something that not many do.
So when my trust is left on the floor and accidently or purposely stepped on, I have to find a way to realign myself and dig deep to be a bigger person....like linebacker big. Weighing in under 110 pounds, I've found it has proved difficult to stand that tall and wide. I'm still figuring out the logistics of it all (is torture an okay step in the process? can I yell? Do I break the other person down before I build them up again? WWJD? Humiliation? meh. probably not). So my path to finding peace with those in the world around me has lead me to a distinct realization. When I stop overthinking and I tune out the angry voice in my head that points fingers (and gives the finger), I can focus on my heart. I swear I'm not going to bust out into a techno song on "listening to your heart", but it's the actual truth -curse that stupid song for stealing my line. And now it's stuck in my head. But my heart is a warm and melty place, much like the asthenospherical layer of the earth, the only question on my Ocean's midterm on Wednesday that I will get right. My heart recognizes the people who are worth forgiving, and it does it of it's own accord, separate from my disagreeing brain. So when it comes down to it, forgiveness is not a conscious choice...it's not even a choice at all.
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