it is such a secret place, the land of tears

I don't know if the men reading will be able to relate, or if they are willing to admit to relating, but silently, motionlessly nod to yourself, or just come along for the ride. Now, all my ladies (I've always wanted to say that but always felt i was too white to do so) I know you can relate. Yes...I'm talking about a good cry.

It's an amazing mystery to me that crying in hysterics...full on hyperventhilation mode for me personally...can have healing benefits. There's something in the uninhibited release of a physical manifestation of your emotions that can have the power to lift a weight off your mind. Crying is so basic. Babies cry as their only way of expressing their desires or needs. We pride ourselves as we grow older on our abilities to communicate so sophisticatedly, while sometimes the only way to work through our thoughts is to revert back to infancy. Talking through an issue is not a sufficient method of solving it, because a lot of times there aren't words to put to our pain-it's just there and throbbing. Antoine Saint-Exupery wrote, "it's such a secret place, the land of tears", and it IS just that. It's an extremely personal experience, making it almost impossible for others to understand the swirling, rising and falling surge of emotion behind our crying. The secrecy can keep people away...but that makes it all the better. We are constantly surrounded by our peers everyday, especially in college. We sleep, eat, study, watch tv, paint our nails, brush our teeth...do EVERYTHING in the presence of other people, and we are trained to demand "what's wrong?" when another shows their emotion. Instead of trying to describe something so complex, though, have a moment to yourself with your feelings...that's what I did tonight.

I hadn't had a real thorough cry in awhile, so today the barriers broke on the dam and a flood overtook the land. It was an ugly cry. A gasping, face scrunching, snot dripping, mascara running mess of a cry. I bawled for a solid 2 hours, and when I finally calmed down and emerged, I felt drained of energy, but also drained of all my negativity. I emerged with a brighter outlook and a peacefulness about me. I also emerged with swolen eyelids, red eyeballs, and a headache...but it feels right. So please never feel like you're too tough or too old to cry the ugly cry. I believe with all my heart that it is at the core of our sanity to release our negative energy, and what better outlet than tears?