Come up for air

Lately, I have particularly been noticing a pattern among young people of the opposite sex. Couples walk around holding hands....for YEARS on end. Now I am by no means a cynical, jaded individual who doesn't believe in love. I absolutly love the idea of love and hope to find it one day. However, I do not believe that we as young people should restrict ourselves for a relationship. They stay in instead of having fun with friends, they give up valuable friendships because of a jealous partner, and abandon their personality to match their significant other's. My peers seem to love their girlfriend or boyfriend of the moment so unconditionally that they are blinded to the fact that the vital balance needed may no longer exist. They cling on because the other person has become so much a part of them that they cannot imagine a life any other way. Instead of using our brains, we're overcome by our hearts. Many of my good friends stay in relationships for no logical reason to the outside world. People come in and out of your life and everyone teaches you something different and changes you in some way. Because of that, dating is crucial. The person we are at age 16 is not the person we are at 20. These are the years we grow into our own person, not morph into another human, and attach ourselves like a parasite.

Then there is the person who feels like maybe something in the relationship is wrong, yet they continue to stay in an unhappy situation. There are so few things in this life that we have control over. More often than not, our happiness is in the hands of fate and the world, but when it comes to who we surround ourselves with and who we choose to be intimate with, we have the reigns. Why would you waste your time on ANYTHING that makes you question your happiness? Why ever settle for "good enough for the moment"? This moment is all we might have and it should have all of your soul in it. If your gut ever questions something, you should listen to it because it will lead you where you need to be, so if your gut questions a relationship, why would you hesitate to find what makes you REALLY happy?

Personally, I have dated many different people and have felt I've been "in love" on a couple occasions. My heart has been broken by almost everyone I've been with, and it's a painful experience. Once the pain has subsided and my heart no longer aches, I am able to reflect on what that relationship has taught me so that I can learn from it for the future. Every person feels like "the one", but taking a step away from the situation can give insight. I am blessed to have had every one of those assholes and that occasional nice guy in my life, because now I have a much better understanding of who I am and what I want. So think outside the box, people! Think outside your tiny bubble of a relationship and realize that there is a world out there.