my life as a socialite...very lite on the social

It's 9:00 on Friday night and I'm sitting on the couch with a bowl of mac and cheese that I can't taste thanks to a week-long cold, surrounded by tissues, my laptop weighing on my stomach, and a 10 page research paper weighing on my conscience. Instead of starting said paper and mulling over the implications texting has had on teens' social skills in APA format, I've opted to mull about topics closer to my own life...like how does Carrie Bradshaw afford that apartment on the Upper East Side and how does Samantha not have every STD in the book? This relates to my life because I will be living in NYC in 2 months and I must take note of how little sex I'll be having in the city, but what it might look like if I could afford Manolo Blahniks. Let's not skirt around the elephant pooping in the room. My life is less than glamorous. I'm in sweats eating an overload of carbs debating with myself the sexual health and footwear of fictional characters.
Often on Facebook on a Monday afternoon, you can see the photo reels of the previous weekend affairs featuring girls wearing dresses that highlight and flatter their vaginas more than any other body part, and guys oggling said girls...er parts. Call me old fashioned, but I like to keep the privates private. However to document this night in photos might be just as embarrassing. I'm freshly showered with full make up on, Kardashian style, but it somehow doesn't make up for my sheer lack of polish and friends currently. In the end, I am at least considering being studious while all others on campus are preparing to go out partying. This is the fasting of fun for the benefit of education...or thoughts of education. I am like a monk during Ramadan. Am I mixing religions? Is my consumption of cheesy pasta from the microwave while talking about Ramadan disrespectful? I hope not. The point is, I like to think of myself as staying home on a weekend night as a symbol of my life as a beacon for higher education. Now I gotta go because the Soup is on and I've got to catch up on what I've missed in reality tv this week.